gregory owen grieco (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gregoryogrieco) wrote2017-12-17 12:12 pm
gregoryogrieco) wrote2017-12-17 12:12 pm
last day at home for a while
tomorrow i go to mom's for probably at least a week, with a stay in UH in the middle. i am terrified i am not going to live through this. i do not want to die. i love life and want to keep living it.
yesterday at jeff's was fun but i did not feel well so i was happy to get back home around 5pm. i was in bed by 6, and did not get out til 8:30 this morning.
i am frightened and i do not know what is going to happen next. how can i quit smoking?? HOW?
cause i cannot go longer than an hour without wanting one. how am i going to not smoke FOREVER??
i don't think i can do it, honestly. i just hope i don't die as a result. it is not my fault i grew up during a time when smoking was acceptable, even yes encouraged. i was hooked by 12, 1976. more than forty years ago. and it is a wicked strong addiction, at least for me, and others like me.
fuck. ah well. all i can do is do my best.
yesterday at jeff's was fun but i did not feel well so i was happy to get back home around 5pm. i was in bed by 6, and did not get out til 8:30 this morning.
i am frightened and i do not know what is going to happen next. how can i quit smoking?? HOW?
cause i cannot go longer than an hour without wanting one. how am i going to not smoke FOREVER??
i don't think i can do it, honestly. i just hope i don't die as a result. it is not my fault i grew up during a time when smoking was acceptable, even yes encouraged. i was hooked by 12, 1976. more than forty years ago. and it is a wicked strong addiction, at least for me, and others like me.
fuck. ah well. all i can do is do my best.